thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize