I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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