someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
