do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize