I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
