She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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