was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize