it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
