There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
