i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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