This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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