She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize