Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
