During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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