He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
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