Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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