chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
