just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
