I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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