what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.