You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.