We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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