I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
