3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize