You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize