that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
