She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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