the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
