hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
