You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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