Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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