how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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