He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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