If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
