Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
