Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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