Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
