am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
