I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize