we have pet lesbian snakes
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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