I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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