did you get engaged???
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
