Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
