Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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