you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
