Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
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You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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