Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
