We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
