the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize