how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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