I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
