Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
