i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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