It's like God shit irony all over that family
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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