he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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