Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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