suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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