Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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