Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
