Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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